Fading Lights

Today in my training class my trainers took a moment to introduce us to the Memorial Guide.

There's several memorials in the game that leave tribute to someone. Former employees, deceased players, even a Make a Wish Foundation-made Quest. They're different things. One's just a jar of ashes with a description when you click on it. One is a large tomb for a deceased player, complete with that player's main character laid out on it, at rest with his sword on his chest. Some are things the company made, and some were requested by a players on behalf of someone else, such as the tomb.

The Memorial Guide itself is an online fan-made thing, but it's through a site that the company endorses and refers people to. There's a map of all known memorials throughout the game, and lists each of them. Each listing has the name, location, object or quest, and a short piece about the person it's for. There's even a request at the bottom asking for people to send in any memorials they've missed. A lot of the stories brought tears to my eyes.

It doesn't entirely make up for yesterday.

But it restored my faith in the company. Maybe they're not *all* assholes.

This has been a Bad Week. With Capital letters. There's been drama around the house, Issues all over the place, and today we learned really Bad News in regards to a relative's health.

So today, I took a Me Day. I dressed up in my fuzziest, warmest pjs, plopped my butt in a recliner, and apart from a short trip into town for Subway and icees, I've been playing video games all day. Harvest Moon, to be specific. Something that requires a lot of thought without actually thinking.

And now my battery is Dead.

By Dead (with capitals), I mean that it won't recognize the charger anymore. Which, since this is an original first-series DS I was given used from Brother, is really not a huge surprise. Logically speaking, it was bound to happen someday right? I mean, it's like eight years old.

Not so logically, I'm torn between screaming and crying right now.

Fuck you too, world.

Things have been fairly dramatic this past week or so. I'm full of all sorts of FEELINGS and DRAMA at the moment, and I need to vent them somewhere before I explode.

( Lots of ranting/rambling/drama. Feel free to skip. )

I was woken up from a sound sleep at 9:30 in the morning by a cranky text message that annoyed me enough to prevent me from going back to sleep. So I got up and made coffee, and spent an hour watching House Hunters and House Hunters International. It wasn't productive, and I spent most of my time glaring at the TV and bitching about people being too picky. I managed a shower, grabbed my laptop out of my room, and curled up in one of the living room recliners in hopes of doing something for Camp NaNo. (Current Wordcount for the day: 4.) It was ... less than successful.

So far the two highlights of my day have been discovering Wild Woman Sisterhood on Facebook, which posts lovely and inspirational pictures about having pride in yourself, focusing on the future instead of the past, and finding magic in the world. And sailorsol's adorable Ninja Cats, which made me giggle. ♥

I'm still mostly cranky, frustrated, and currently trying to hunt down music to help me get through my current scene. Specifically a battle-theme type of instrumental. Preferably Middle-Eastern sounding, but not required. Anyone have suggestions?

Just saw Wreck-It Ralph for the second time, this time with Brother's parents. ( Random Wreck-It Ralph squee. )

Then I got home and checked my e-mail, where I found a review for Bright Skies that is both flame and compliment. I should ignore it. I *know* this. But honestly? Some of the comments they left *really* pissed me off. I'm glad they kind of like the story, but at the same time they insulted half of what makes Bright Skies .... Bright Skies.* I'm ... indignant, I guess. And a little offended.

I'd list some of the things that made me so angry here, but I'm trying to convince myself to take the path of least aggression. And trying to remind myself of how many people have told me they love it for exactly the same things this person was complaining about. I guess I'm so annoyed/irritated because Bright Skies is one of My Epic Babies as far as fanfiction goes, and I'm very protective of it. >.O And I've always been a bit sensitive about the few flames I *have* gotten, even if they're rare. -Is a baby-

... Oh. That explains it. This is the same person who commented on A Tale of Five Carsons. I thought that style of review seemed familiar.

On a lighter note, I found this on Twitter just before I posted. It's very heartening to read. ♥ Even if my NaNo has been stuck for a week and is so far behind it's highly unlikely I'll finish.



* When the author LISTS their pairings in the FIRST CHAPTER, this is considered a warning. DON'T READ THE STORY IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE PAIRING.

So apparently it takes calling in sick to be able to post again.

I am ... somewhat employed. By which I mean that I'm working at one of the local potato factories by way of a temp agency. So I am *working*, but not necessarily permanently employed. Which is one of the many reasons I haven't been around lately.

I've been working at this place for just over two weeks now. We have a rotating schedule, which SUCKS, because it means I work a certain shift long enough to get my body adjusted to it, have a day off, and then work at a completely different time. (Currently, I'm working 4:00pm-12:00am.) The work itself is boring and monotinous, 'cause I spend a lot of time pulling rotten potatoes off a conveyorbelt. Or cleaning. Which really just means I have a lot of time to let my mind wander into dangerous areas.* Occasionally I do manage to plot stories, but it's hard to work on them when I only have breaks, 'cause I'm pretty exhausted by the time I get home.

Last week though, was The Week From Hell. Possibly even THE WEEK FROM HELL.

( In which I rant. A lot. )

Sorry for the ranting to anyone brave enough to read it. I haven't really had a chance to vent yet, and I'm still pretty pissed. >.<

As for why I'm home today, I have a really bad head cold combined with nausea and cramps. I was trying to convince myself to go in anyway before the dizziness made me almost faceplant and I decided there was no way I'm working around heavy machinery like this. I'm thinking I either caught it from sister-in-law, or just from all the stress. Possibly the weather.

I'm going back to saving fanfics to my flashdrive so I can curl back up in my bed and read. I think I'm in another brotherly/family fluff mood, which is the only explanation I can come up with for why I'm looking at The Outsiders fanfiction. (I hated that book. >.O) I'm also browsing anything with Bruce Wayne and Dick Greyson (because Philippa is awesome and evil and addictive), and some Harry Potter. Maybe Harry Potter/Gundam Wing. Or Chonicles of Narnia. They have good fluff.

-Is babbling-

I miss you all SO MUCH and I love you! ♥


* My first day was spent trying to imagine what Zhane would do if he worked there. Which turned out to be complain about hairnets, and then somehow I had the mental image of him sticking forks into a pair of potatoes and making them do the can-can. Another day I was incredibly tired, and started plotting the Teenage Mutant Katate Potatoes, Villains of the Harvest. I decided on shapes, and was working on names and a theme song. (Yeah. IDEK. o.O)

** Never has this icon been more appropriate.

Something about this song - awesome vid not withstanding - makes me think of Justin. Especially now that he's all grown up and .... yeah. Yet another song I'd love to see a PR vid to.

So ... I've been feeling a bit anti-social lately. Depressed, I suppose. I think more than anything I'm frustrated because I don't seem to be getting anywhere. At least, not where I *want* to be. I'm trying, but ... After awhile, it starts becoming harder to keep trying. Because there's only so much rejection and lack of progress a person can take. I'm not at the point of feeling truly hopeless - thankfully - but frustrated and worn. It's grating.

( The past week or so in review, complete with babbling. )

Oh, and my paid LiveJournal account has finally expired. This only matters because I will miss my many icons. -Sulks- Dreamwidth is turning out to be better than I expected after my last experiment with it, but I still want more icons. And my Anime Faces mood theme. The kanji is nice, but not the same.

Today I plan to cheer myself up with mindless coding! Namely posting stories on AO3 and working on my website. (Coding is another 'zen' thing for me; I blame my inner graphic designer.) I also plan to stare at FtD and Cataclysm for awhile in hopes of thinking of ways I can torture people. That's always fun. Feeling Emo much? OF COURSE NOT.



* It is a strange but true fact that watching Bones makes me hungry. I have no idea why.
** I want someone to write me a fic where Hannah and Brennan are teasing Booth about having a threesome. Initially I was all for an actual threesome, but now that I know Booth's VERY Catholic and would never go for it, I'm more entertained by the thought of the girls tormenting him while he's horrified by the idea.